Yes.. its been awhile..

Catching up

It has definitely been more than over a year.. life just got more complicated than ever. A lot has changed since my last post. SO. MUCH. I’ve dealt with pain (still not easy). Depression (I’m getting better). Made some mistakes.. (learned to accept and forgive).

Life’s been bittersweet. Blessed enough to have certain people in my life that believe in me (more than I ever would in myself) and pushed me to better my well being. I now want to succeed in the passions I’m in love with. More than ever.

Before I continue more.. I’m going to let  you know that it may get random, but don’t worry if you’ve been following me foreverrrr, then you should already know me by now- it’ll make sense later on (or someday haha).

From social media to streaming on twitch.. if you haven’t noticed when I don’t go on the digital space for a few days, I become a ghost. I am not going to lie, mentally its unhealthy for me. Not only its social media its my outside life too. Work can be difficult (like right now it is) and having friends.. oh lord haha. Kidding. I mean I don’t have a lot of friends, but I hate getting annoyed by people whom I care bout. Because that is the last thing I want to feel towards my friend. (Too I do believe a part of it is acquaintances or “friends” giving me crap bout not living the “party life” per se) Whether they want to eat or do something (every week, or every other day), sometimes I just don’t have the desire to go “out”. May be thats just me or I’m just actually weird. Never use to bother me because I’m that one person who doesn’t care what people think bout me, though at times I will have those days or people in my life. Don’t get me wrong.. I do love to hang out, but when it comes to wanting to get further in your success than the day before; you (I) are going to sacrifice and do what you gotta do to be successful.

Decision making is also another crazy vein that runs through my brain that either overthinks or is just scared. For one dramatic example (maybe not that dramatic but..) I want to quit my retail job again so I can focus on myself, you guys (beefam), on my passions. But yes, I am scared. Having two jobs is stressful.. but yo girl needs money to pay bills and her debt.. (basically til my debt is paid off I can start looking for a place where I can call my own).

Okay its super late now.. and I am too tired to keep typing. AND have to wake up at 5 in the morning.. rip me </3

Goodnight and sweet dreams my friends. I hope ya’ll are doing better than me this past week bc yea.. not so good week for me. Love you guys. I do appreciate you all. Each and individually, have a special place in my heart. If you are like me and life kinda hit you with not only a semi truck but with other cars with it too.. Don’t give up. As broken as we may be..  loving with a broken heart is just as powerful and a form of art. We cant let that go to waste.

xx Julz

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