It has definitely been more than over a year.. life just got more complicated than ever. A lot has changed since my last post. SO. MUCH. I’ve dealt with pain (still not easy). Depression (I’m getting better). Made some mistakes.. (learned to accept and forgive).
Life’s been bittersweet. Blessed enough to have certain people in my life that believe in me (more than I ever would in myself) and pushed me to better my well being. I now want to succeed in the passions I’m in love with. More than ever.
Before I continue more.. I’m going to let you know that it may get random, but don’t worry if you’ve been following me foreverrrr, then you should already know me by now- it’ll make sense later on (or someday haha).
From social media to streaming on twitch.. if you haven’t noticed when I don’t go on the digital space for a few days, I become a ghost. I am not going to lie, mentally its unhealthy for me. Not only its social media its my outside life too. Work can be difficult (like right now it is) and having friends.. oh lord haha. Kidding. I mean I don’t have a lot of friends, but I hate getting annoyed by people whom I care bout. Because that is the last thing I want to feel towards my friend. (Too I do believe a part of it is acquaintances or “friends” giving me crap bout not living the “party life” per se) Whether they want to eat or do something (every week, or every other day), sometimes I just don’t have the desire to go “out”. May be thats just me or I’m just actually weird. Never use to bother me because I’m that one person who doesn’t care what people think bout me, though at times I will have those days or people in my life. Don’t get me wrong.. I do love to hang out, but when it comes to wanting to get further in your success than the day before; you (I) are going to sacrifice and do what you gotta do to be successful.
Decision making is also another crazy vein that runs through my brain that either overthinks or is just scared. For one dramatic example (maybe not that dramatic but..) I want to quit my retail job again so I can focus on myself, you guys (beefam), on my passions. But yes, I am scared. Having two jobs is stressful.. but yo girl needs money to pay bills and her debt.. (basically til my debt is paid off I can start looking for a place where I can call my own).
Okay its super late now.. and I am too tired to keep typing. AND have to wake up at 5 in the morning.. rip me </3
Goodnight and sweet dreams my friends. I hope ya’ll are doing better than me this past week bc yea.. not so good week for me. Love you guys. I do appreciate you all. Each and individually, have a special place in my heart. If you are like me and life kinda hit you with not only a semi truck but with other cars with it too.. Don’t give up. As broken as we may be.. loving with a broken heart is just as powerful and a form of art. We cant let that go to waste.
Hope you guys are having a wonderful week so far and enjoying this holiday season with your friends and family!
I have a few photos of Dee from our photo shoot. Doesn’t she look gorgeous!? She is such an awesome funny human. We’ve been wanting to work with each other for a long time! HAHA and here we are a year later *laughing emoji*
Now I have to say she was freezing, but we got some cool shots in 50 degree weather especially being super close to the ocean! Pretty freaking windy I must add.
I wanted to share these photos with you also because Dee is always on point with her fashion colors! For you gentlemen or women who like to be on trend this cold season, wear a neutral purple color. Really brings out your outfit. Its one of the colors that a lot of people wear this season. So just a little tip for you all.
Have been wanting to move up with my photography, so you guys will see a lot of photos with random friends of mine aka models lol. Something I’ve been wanting to do for awhile so am happy I’ll be able to next year :)
Seems like I keep making a pattern of only blogging once a month. (I am trying to blog more, but we’ll see how that goes). On the bright side you guys get tons of photos in ONE blog post, so I guess that’s cool :)
I must say all these photos of the seals and under the sea mammals are from a long while back…
I bring these up now because it is still hot breezy over here in Southern California. Like, its November! Shouldn’t be hot chocolate and fall/winter clothes to be layerin’ up for the cold nights? Its crazy. I can still go to beach with no layers whatsoever.
Honestly just wish it was COLD ALREADY HAHA!
Anyways, these photos were shot from awhile back like I’ve said. I had went to an Sea Life Aquarium here in Carlsbad. I believe it is part of Lego Land. Next door to the park. ‘Twas fun going with my cousins and aunt! Somewhere I have never been so I was happy I got to experience the attraction.
I don’t know if I ever mention this before, but I definitely want to scuba dive, swim or boat with sharks, swim with dolphins as well, and anything else that involves wild life. That is me, I am scared of insects but not afraid to swim with sharks. I know, call me crazy xD
xx Julz
Again, as always, thank you all for the endless support xx
Hello my friends, thought to write because one: I haven’t in some time and second: just can’t bring myself to vlog my feelings.
Monday, didn’t wake up til afternoon then I remembered I was going to vlog for the day. I was really crappy looking because I got home late Sunday and couldn’t sleep til 3 am. As I was going to get ready for the day (Monday) and actually try to look decent in my vlog, so many exciting things were going through my mind.
As you all know the past weekend I was going to a meeting/workshop that related to business. There was a program they were offering and of course in no way I could afford this program. I wanted to do it so bad but I didn’t have any kind of available funds to help. Although with all the knowledge I had learned from the three days, I wanted to put my knowledge to work and use the tools to put them into action. Little did I know that the lady in front of me at this meeting who I had talk to here and there got accepted to the program. Here I am, knowing there would be in no way I would move forward into this program (maybe in the future I would be able to afford it) but, she approaches my grandma and I. She asks, would you like to be in a partnership I really don’t want to do this by myself?
OF COURSE I SAID YES!
So I was repeating my excitement in my thoughts (from that Sunday) as I was brushing my hair. This might sound weird (I tend to do this sometimes lol) but I began to smile just thanking God for the opportunity.
I then started to remember Clyde. Remembering our memories in conversation. Like I’ve said Clyde had always supported my dreams and endlessly gave me encouragement when I started to discourage myself. Continuing brushing my hair while looking at myself in the mirror, I started to tear up. It just hit me out of nowhere.
I just wanted to call him and tell him the amazing opportunity I got offered the day before. Knowing I wasn’t going to get a response hurts the most. I just began to break down.
Just couldn’t let you guys see me the way I was. I didn’t want to bring you guys down. ‘Twas the reason there was no vlog Monday. It was too hard for me, I just needed time to myself.
Tuesday I was a little bit more better, but woke up sick… again. *Rolls Eyes*
Pretty much drugged myself for the whole day, crucial pain is no fun. I should be seeing a doctor hopefully by next month. I am still going through some medical insurance adult stuff (soooo much fun). So won’t be til I get my stuff cleared to be able to move forward to see a doctor. Ughhh…
Alright my friends, hope you all have a blessed day! Thank you all for understanding, you guys mean so much to me y’all have no idea.
I can’t believe I am 23. Crazy. Thankful to live another day.
Breathing in and out as I try to keep my thoughts together. I have so many things I just want to blurt out so, here it goes.
If you have been following me on twitter and instagram then you already know that my phone service has been just as equally stupid to my home network (internet) as well. Haven’t been able to stay on my social media apps as long as I would want to due to my service provider that keeps on crashing.
Oh! You also must know that I had a “weekly vlog” I was ready to upload to YouTube then my old laptop (wait for it) was giving me problems as usual…
THEN (here it is) after praying for two years for a new laptop, God has answered! Yes! Generous donation was surprisingly given out of nowhere. Thankful for the gift.
I am actually typing on this beauty right as I type hehe
Will I be uploading vlogs now? You might ask, YES I AM! Cannot wait to share and edit videos through a much faster and high quality software than ever!
You might also know about the bunnies I have shared on my Instagram stories. Well- there was more than what we expected. I’ll be sharing more in the vlog BUT yea, I named my baby Bubba :P He’s so cute!
You might be wondering, how am I posting/blogging right now? Well seems the “smart internet” people actually found out the problem and fixed the problem, for now. Hmm… *rolls eyes*
My gosh I’ve been working non stop and think I’m getting sick. So right now currently in bed, thinking “this sucks”. Having my throat itch and on top of that my stomach problems seem to have came back to haunt me from my past. So I’m sure you can tell how excited I am to go into work today.
Alright, enjoy while you catch up on my crazy life along with my photos while you can peeps! First two photos are from California :) Last two taken from Texas :’)
p.s. Just wanted to thank everyone again who has reached out and continuously supported me while I still carry this heavy heart. Each one of you has a very special place in my heart. You all inspire me and keep me going even on the days when I don’t want to. I thank you. You all are just as Loved. God is healing me slowly.
Hey, I'm Julieza, am 22 years old in Southern California. I write a style & lifestyle blog to share for anyone who is interested to join my journey. I love to write, play video games, photograph, travel, and video. I live everyday with motivation to pursue my dreams. I honestly can't tell you where I'll be headed tomorrow, which makes life a bit more spontaneous.
Come Join The PARTAAAY