Breakdown

Wednesday, October 19, 2016 Lifestyle Permalink 0

Hello my friends, thought to write because one: I haven’t in some time and second: just can’t bring myself to vlog my feelings.

Monday, didn’t wake up til afternoon then I remembered I was going to vlog for the day. I was really crappy looking because I got home late Sunday and couldn’t sleep til 3 am. As I was going to get ready for the day (Monday) and actually try to look decent in my vlog, so many exciting things were going through my mind.

As you all know the past weekend I was going to a meeting/workshop that related to business. There was a program they were offering and of course in no way I could afford this program. I wanted to do it so bad but I didn’t have any kind of available funds to help. Although with all the knowledge I had learned from the three days, I wanted to put my knowledge to work and use the tools to put them into action. Little did I know that the lady in front of me at this meeting who I had talk to here and there got accepted to the program. Here I am, knowing there would be in no way I would move forward into this program (maybe in the future I would be able to afford it) but, she approaches my grandma and I. She asks, would you like to be in a partnership I really don’t want to do this by myself?

OF COURSE I SAID YES!

So I was repeating my excitement in my thoughts (from that Sunday) as I was brushing my hair. This might sound weird (I tend to do this sometimes lol) but I began to smile just thanking God for the opportunity.

I then started to remember Clyde. Remembering our memories in conversation. Like I’ve said Clyde had always supported my dreams and endlessly gave me encouragement when I started to discourage myself. Continuing brushing my hair while looking at myself in the mirror, I started to tear up. It just hit me out of nowhere.

I just wanted to call him and tell him the amazing opportunity I got offered the day before. Knowing I wasn’t going to get a response hurts the most. I just began to break down.

Just couldn’t let you guys see me the way I was. I didn’t want to bring you guys down. ‘Twas the reason there was no vlog Monday. It was too hard for me, I just needed time to myself.

Tuesday I was a little bit more better, but woke up sick… again. *Rolls Eyes*

Pretty much drugged myself for the whole day, crucial pain is no fun. I should be seeing a doctor hopefully by next month. I am still going through some medical insurance adult stuff (soooo much fun). So won’t be til I get my stuff cleared to be able to move forward to see a doctor. Ughhh…

Alright my friends, hope you all have a blessed day! Thank you all for understanding, you guys mean so much to me y’all have no idea.